Christ-centered Community Part 2: Belonging in Family

Jesus offers us a surrogate family, an inclusive place to belong, where we are all equal siblings and have something critical to offer.

A few weeks ago, I introduced a series of posts I would be writing about the church. I shared a bit about what I think we should pursue (a more collective, body approach) and a little bit on the things that I believe cause us to miss the mark (authority over one another, elevation of certain giftings and the exclusion of others, etc.). Here’s a short summary.

A brief recap of last time

I use “Christ-centered community” interchangeably with church (local and universal), family of God/Christ, and body of Christ, among a few others, but I want to emphasize Christ-centeredness and belonging to one another over buildings, locales, and denomonations. While focus on Jesus and community may seem apparent to being the church, you don’t really have to look far to see how those things easily get missed today. Also, there is a lot of disagreement on what being committed to Jesus should look like for a church. So, I prefer Christ-centered community (even though it is a bit of a mouthful), and here is how I define it:

A Christ-centered community is a group of diverse but equal individuals, interdependent on one another and united in love by the pursuit of the shared, transcendent purpose of living out the gospel of Jesus.

In terms of what this means, I suggest five essential distinctives that should exist and flourish. With these, there is room for diversity of expressions that fit whatever context a community finds itself in. There will also, presumably, be a trajectory of growth into these areas over time. Further, these are inclusive descriptors, meaning every member of the community should be intentionally growing into these realities, and no one is excluded from them (i.e., these are not leadership-only traits, but markers of Christ-likeness for each individual and the entire, corporate body). So, where Christ-centered community exists, these things should be true of its members:

• Belonging in family

• Empowerment in priesthood

• Competency in scriptural interpretation and application

• Engagement in spiritual gifting

• Growth in maturity

Let’s talk about belonging in family.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

A place to belong

Family may not be a word that conjures ideas of belonging for some of us. Family is often irrational, toxic, and a place where grudges thrive. It’s not always the place we can be our full selves and at ease. Rather, we sometimes carry anxiety and fear into family meals and holidays even as we grow older.

And it’s not as though familes have recently become dysfunctional. They weren’t exactly models of health in biblical times either—Cain killed Abel, Jacob decieved his brother and father, Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery, Judah abandoned his daughter-in-law and unknowingly fathered a child to her (thinking she was a prostitute). And that’s just some of the line of Jesus. In the book of Genesis. Family has always been messy.

Maybe your context is a healthier one, and the thought of the church as family is welcome. At times bringing about the best in us, family can be an always-gonna-be-there reality that stays steady through the most difficult of times (think of Joseph and his forgiveness toward his brothers in Genesis 45). Regardless of our understanding of family (or how it would have been understood in Joseph’s time or in first-century Mediterranean culture), family is the way of Jesus. It’s what he invites us into.

The Way of Jesus

Jesus enters the world in a time and place where blood family was central. The powerful theme of familial committment was prevalent long before he arrived, and he continued to emphasize its importance throughout his life.

“The world in which Jesus and His followers lived was a distinctly strong-group culture in which the health of the group—not the needs of the individual—received first priority. And the most important group for persons in the ancient world was the family. It is hardly accidental that the New Testament writers chose the concept of family as the central social metaphor to describe the kind of interpersonal relationships that were to characterize those early Christian communities.”¹

Most Western Christians today have an individualistic worldview, especially when compared to Ancient Mediterranean cultures (and other collectivistic societies around the world today). As a result, it’s no wonder Western churches have a model of faith that revolves around (and is often limited to) personal salvation and self-driven responsibility to grow. But Jesus spoke to a world with different assumptions and different values which was collectivistic in nature and prioritized family over the individual.

A Surrogate Family

So, when Jesus is teaching in Mark 3, and his mother and brothers come to see him, the expectation at the time would be that he would make room for them near him—that his honor would be shared by them, and that others listening would get out of the way. But Jesus responds in a way that is unexpected, and a bit rude if you don’t see what’s really going on:

³³ Answering them, He said, “Who are My mother and My brothers?” ³⁴ And looking around at those who were sitting around Him, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! ³⁵ For whoever does the will of God, this is My brother, and sister, and mother.” (Mark 3:33-35 NASB)

Imagine being Jesus’ mom here. You’re proud of your son, and anyone else in any other similar situation would have welcomed you to the space closest to them. Or imagine being a brother to this Jesus. Would you have thought the recognition and honor had gone to his head just a bit? But Jesus’ family is not one of natural lineage, but inclusion by obedience to God. Jesus’ family takes precedent over the familial structures of this world. This statement by Jesus was offensive to his family and divergent from cultural expectations. And it’s one of many in the Gospel records.

In a similar tone, Jesus again unsettles the priority of family and the cultural expectations in Mark 10. But, here, he emphasizes the inclusion of his followers into a new, surrogate family. This family is made up of those who follow Jesus wholeheartedly and at the great cost of leaving this world behind for the sake of Christ. In this context, family would have been the one thing you never abandon, yet Jesus calls for his followers to do so if need be.

²⁸ Peter began to say to Him, “Behold, we have left everything and have followed You.” ²⁹ Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel’s sake, ³⁰ but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life. ³¹ But many who are first will be last, and the last, first.” (Mark 10:28-31)

This new family of Christ-followers is made up of brothers, sisters, mothers, and children who belong to Jesus. Presumably, Jesus leaves “fathers” off the list of what is received in this new family because we have a father in heaven (see Matt 23:9). The emphasis in Mark 10 is the cost of following Jesus, along with the reward of inclusion among Christ’s family. Following Jesus takes priority over everything, even the things we cherish most. This new family is representative of an upside-down kingdom, where new values and new expectations replace old ones. Jesus’ family, Christ-centered community, isn’t drawn to what this world craves—independence, exclusion, authority, status, or wealth. It seeks interdependence, inclusion, submissive service, humility, and meeting the needs of all.

For the rich man just before this passage in Mark 10:17-22, it was his wealth that stood in the way, despite the promise of “treasure in heaven” (Mark 10:21). For those who pursue Jesus even at the cost of family on earth, the gain is inclusion in the surrogate family of Jesus, both in the present and age to come.

Equality among sisters and brothers

But the reward of belonging to the family of Jesus is not just for those who leave their biological family or fortunes behind. It is for all disciples of Jesus. And it’s critical to note the nature of the sibling relationship to which we are called by Jesus and throughout the New Testament is that of equality.

In a previous post, We Need Better Questions for the Church, I talk about family as the basis for a new vision of what church could be. Relating as family changes everything, from how we structure the church, to how we talk to each other, and to what we offer to one another. It impacts our views of status and honor, which carried a massive amount of weight in the time and context of Jesus. On the topic of honor, Jesus shares with his disciples:

⁶ “And [the scribes and Pharisees] love the place of honor at banquets, and the seats of honor in the synagogues, ⁷ and personal greetings in the marketplaces, and being called Rabbi by the people. ⁸ But as for you, do not be called Rabbi; for only One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers and sisters. (Matt 23:6-8)

We are all sisters and brothers, siblings to one another in Christ-centered community. It’s because of this reality that designations elevating one over another are to be nonexistent. Whether it is a matter of honor by title and esteem, by position or office, gifting or skill, we are to treat one another as siblings, with equal share in the benefits of belonging to the family of Christ.

And belonging to Christ’s family is a designation that carries great dignity for each person. We see this throughout the New Testament, but particularly in Paul’s metaphor of the body of Christ. Listen as he talks to brothers and sisters in Corinth about what it means to belong to one another and to Christ:

¹⁴ For the body is not one part, but many. ¹⁵ If the foot says, “Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any less a part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear says, “Because I am not an eye, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any less a part of the body. ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸ But now God has arranged the parts, each one of them in the body, just as He desired. ¹⁹ If they were all one part, where would the body be? (1 Cor 12:14-19)

Equality here is not uniformity, but being imbued with inherent dignity. Dignity is something we all possess in equal parts because the body, in Paul’s metaphor, requires the thriving of every part to truly be functioning as the body. Being a part of the family of Christ is to be an active member of Christ’s body, held together by the unifying bond of the one Spirit (1 Cor 12:13). As such, no one person can say to another, “you don’t belong” or “you have no place here.” Rather, each member is indispensable.

Higher stakes, greater security

To summarise so far, it is because of that indispesibility that belonging to the family of God is secure for each member. And the way of Jesus is family, a surrogate group for his followers to belong to one another and to God. Belonging is not based on natural lineage, but on obedience to the teachings of Jesus. Following these teachings is to be the primary defining attribute of this family, and everything else in life becomes secondary to belonging to God’s group. And this group, this family, is interdependent on one another as siblings who are equal in dignity and value, typified by the body of Christ metaphor.

If church is actually the type of family Jesus envisions, then it raises the stakes for each person’s committment to God and one another far beyond what is common today. At the same time, it guarantees inclusion of all people and provides irrevocable dignity to every member. No one can be left out or disfellowshipped, because each member is critical to the whole body.

This should color how we approach disagreements in our churches. If someone doesn’t like a decision that has been made in the church, how would it change things if the community viewed him as a brother? How would it influence the engagement the church has with him if they recognized his inherent dignity and indispensability to the whole body? What if a woman in your church felt she wasn’t being treated like a necessary part of the ministry of the community, but knew she was a sister and knew those who were excluding her were siblings of the same family? How readily would she be heard if the community knew they wouldn’t be living up to their full potential without her walking in her gifts? How might that change how she engages the difficult issue of feeling excluded?

Family offers hope to the church (and the world)

Think of the people who comprised the early church: Gentiles, Jews, Africans, Samaritans, slaves, masters, women, men, the wealthy, those who were circumcised, shepherds, lawyers, eunuchs, the poor, the uncircumcised, and others from every corner of society. And at the table of Jesus, they were equals. In Christ-centered community, they each had a place.

That equality and place of belonging extend to all of us today. I know we fight over all sorts of things, and the history of the church for nearly two thousand years has been fraught with schism and exclusion. And it often has not looked like the family Jesus created and called us into. But I’m a believer that this can change. Or, at least it can change in my church. And yours. We owe it to our sisters and brothers to fight for the family we were given. Jesus died for this family to thrive, so that we could partner with his Spirit in welcoming the world into this place of belonging and purpose.

1. Joseph H. Hellerman, When the Church was a Family: Recapturing Jesus’ Vision for Authentic Christian Community. 2009. 6.